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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

F1 Fans Really Excited for New Mennonite Driver Max Fe’schlucken

January 17, 2024 Andrew

FRANCORCHAMPS, BELGIUM Formula 1 fans are really excited to see new young Mennonite driver Max Fe’schlucken, who hopes to be the first F1 driver to win a Grand Prix using only a team of horses. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Go Around Naked Now that Reitman’s is Closed

January 16, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Agatha Martens, 73, is concerned she’ll be left with absolutely nothing to wear now that Reitman’s is closing. Martens relied so heavily on purchasing her floral blouses and navy blue slacks […]

Unger Games

Arena to Change Name Every Couple Years So You Never Remember What it’s Called

January 15, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The downtown arena in Winnipeg has a radical new plan to make sure sports and music fans alike never know what the heck it’s called these days. “At first we thought we’d change […]

The Daily Bonnet

House Fails to Warm Up After Mennonite Man Puts on the Fireplace Channel

January 14, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB An unprecedented cold snap had John Goerzen of Edmonton trying everything he could to warm the house up. Unfortunately for Goerzen, putting on the fireplace channel did absolutely nothing to increase the temperature. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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