WINNIPEG, MB
Just as all hope was lost, the Winnipeg Jets stormed back from a 4-0 deficit last night to take control of the US House and Senate.
“It’s hard to stop that blue wave,” said hockey analyst Craig Button. “Just when we all thought the Jets were out of it, they rallied to take over Congress. I imagine the first thing they’ll do is annex the Stanley Cup. ”
Even though the team has been struggling as of late, last night’s victory brought hope to a lot of people.
“I know the President still has that veto power and executive orders,” said Button, “but everyone’s hoping that with the Jets in charge of the House and Senate they might finally be able to get that affordability and jobs act passed. Maybe even reduce the price on the 12-inch Jets Dog.”
Remarkably, several Jets players also managed to be elected governor.
“Never thought I’d see a Winnipeg Jet become governor of Georgia,” said Button. “I guess they’ve forgiven them for the whole Thrashers thing.”
While some Americans had misgivings about the Winnipeg Jets takeover of the legislative branch, most were just content it wasn’t the New York Jets.
In other news, former Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck has been appointed new White House Press Secretary.
