WINDSOR, ON
The White House is fuming this week after the new Gordie Howe bridge was set to connect the United States with Canada, instead of the Epstein Island route that they preferred.
“We’ve been treated very unfairly,” said President Trump. “We’re not going to allow that bridge to open until it’s rerouted to give us more convenient access to Epstein Island. I was sick of going by plane.”
The new plan will involve adding more than 2000 additional miles to the length of the bridge.
“Plus it’ll be redirected southward,” said Trump. “When it’s finished, it’s going to one big beautified bridge. All my friends will be there.”
The President also said that taxpayers have nothing to worry about as the additional costs will be paid for by private donors.
“They paid for the new White House ballroom, after all, so I’m sure they won’t mind pitching in for the new Epstein Island Expressway.”
The White House is also demanding the bridge be renamed in honour of Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick.
(photo credit: Wikicommons)
