GREAT FALLS, MT
Amateur researchers in Great Falls, Montana have just discovered a vast worldwide conspiracy to get single white men to hole up in their parents’ basement creating angry gifs and complaining about Greta Thunberg.
“We found out that the ‘global leftist elites’ have conspired to get us all making insipid memes and ranting with ferocious anger about stuff we just found out about yesterday,” said local man Dick Rempel. “Apparently, they’ve also conspired to get us to spell every other word wrong, too.”
According to the findings, the globalists are also trying to really cut down on white men showering or getting out much.
“Basically they just want us to be angry on the Internet,” said Rempel. “The more time we spend calling out SJWs on social media the better.”
The inane gifs and memes epidemic has reportedly spread across the globe, and has already lowered the average intelligence level by a full 20%.
“Not to mention dramatically reducing our ability to hold a coherent conversation with people with opposing viewpoints,” said Rempel. “Wow, those global leftists elites have sure done a number on us.”
In other news, the global leftist elites were spotted this afternoon wearing tank tops and boxer shorts and pulling up to a Chick Fil-A drive-thru in Butte.
