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Month: May 2024

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Man Subsists on Nothing but Rae and Jerry’s Tomato Juice for the Past 60 Years

May 6, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Don Driedger, 79, has been consuming nothing but Rae and Jerry’s delicious tomato juice for the past six decades. “Oh, sure, occasionally I’ll go with the soup,” said Driedger, “but 9 […]

Unger Games

Jets Fans Relieved that At Least the Leafs are Out Now Too

May 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The entire City of Winnipeg breathed a collective sigh of relief last night as the Toronto Maple Leafs lost in overtime to the Boston Bruins. “Yikes, that was a close one,” said Winnipeger […]

Unger Suspicion

‘May the 3rd Be With You’: Confused Mennonite Man Sends Premature Greeting

May 4, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area man Larry Hiebert, 51, turned more than a few heads this Friday, after he spent the whole day greeting folks with a hearty “May the 3rd be with you.” “He started on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Sport Their Very Best Pyjama Pants for Walmart Excursion

May 3, 2024 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Area couple Jack and Martha Wiens decided to “get all decked out” and head over to Walmart this afternoon. “It took me a while to figure out which pair of pyjama pants to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Waits 3 Years for Bus that Never Comes

May 1, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Al Dueck, 42, sat down on what he thought was a bus stop on Brandt Street, only to discover that it was merely a bench with no apparent purpose. “Too bad […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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