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Month: March 2024

Headline Contest

Mennonite Man Out Standing in His Field

March 21, 2024 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area farmer Abe Friesen, 31, has received high praise this week as several neighbouring farmers noted that he was “out standing in his field.” “Oba, look at that young Friesen over there out […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg to Install Massive New “Gateway Arch” to Compete with St. Louis

March 16, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tired of being an afterthought when it comes to the title of Gateway to the West, the Canadian city of Winnipeg has decided to erect a massive Gateway Arch of their own. “St. […]

Unger Suspicion

Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash

March 15, 2024 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Area woman Diane Fuchs has set a Western Manitoba record this afternoon after managing to keep her CR-V clean for a full two minutes and 14 seconds after leaving the car wash. “It […]

Unger Suspicion

Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth

March 14, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA Disgusted by her use of a private jet, protestors are demanding that pop star Taylor Swift confine all travel to an old rusty Plymouth. “Got to get from Tokyo to Las Vegas […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family for a Week on One Little Caesars Pizza

March 11, 2024 Andrew

BLUMENORT, SK Area woman Tammy Dueck has perfected the art of making one Little Caesars pizza feed her growing family of 8 for an entire week. “I send one piece along with Dan for his […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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