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Month: March 2023

Unger Suspicion

City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System

March 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway. […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to tax returns, residents of Steinbach, Manitoba tithe at a much higher rate than any other community in the country. “This is truly a generous community when it comes to paying pastors’ […]

Unger Games

Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit

March 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperate to get things going on their lacklustre power play, the Winnipeg Jets have brought in All-Star forward Mrs. Janzen of the Altona Mennonite Church Sunday School floor hockey league. “We’re not moving […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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