The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: July 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal

July 6, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona man Pat Rempel, 47, spent more than two hours selecting the proper urinal position during a trip to a Winnipeg shopping mall this week. “Okay, okay, Pat, you can do this,” he […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Labelled a “Feminist” for Not Trailing 10 Feet Behind Her Husband at All Times

July 5, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Sarah Warkentin, 33, of Winkler made headlines this week after she was spotted standing right beside her husband as the couple exited their Dodge Caravan and, according to sources, stayed beside him […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Creates World’s Longest Mexican Chain

July 4, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Pankratz of Blumenort, Manitoba is set to enter the Guinness Book of World Records this week after creating a Mexican Chain that stretched through her front yard, straight down Penner Avenue, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

The Daily Bonnet

NHL Teams Clamour to Sign Any Toews They Can

July 2, 2022 Andrew

DENVER, CO After the Stanley Cup successes of Jonathan Toews and Devon Toews (no relation), NHL squads are now looking to sign any and every Toews they can get their hands on. “Get a Toews […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 5 6 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • The Daily Bonnet Announces the Worst Contest Ever!
    September 27, 2016
  • CFL Adds New ‘Mennonite Player Ratio’
    June 22, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Discovers Where Babies Come from Just a Little Too Late
    October 1, 2021
  • Politicians Eager to Dupe Mennonites into Thinking they Support Mennonite Values
    April 7, 2025
  • Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List
    May 2, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved