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Month: July 2021

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Karen Accidentally Wears Mask Up Over Her Nose

July 16, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A local Karen had full intentions of making life as difficult as possible for all the minimum wage workers of Altona, when she accidentally walked into the Co-op this afternoon with her mask […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Sprays WD-40 on His Achey Elbow

July 15, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Peter Stobbe of La Crete had tried just about everything the trajchtmoaka prescribed, but nothing, just nothing, would solve that chronic ache in his elbow until he tried a spritz of […]

Unger Suspicion

Icelandic Mennonites Experiment with 8 Day Work Week

July 14, 2021 Andrew

ARBORG, MB Gudmondur Friesen of the Arborg area was inspired by his cousins out in Reykjavik this week who successfully implemented a 4-day work week. “Ójá, when I heard about my frindschauft over there in […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Puts Her Name on Margarine Container to Make Sure She Gets it Back

July 13, 2021 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB After having experienced a number of traumatic situations where she didn’t get her used margarine containers back, Mrs. Penner of Grunthal made sure to carefully write her name on each and every container […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Sells ‘Amazing Miracle Elixir’ that Cures Gullibility

July 12, 2021 Andrew

FRIEDENSFELD, MB Renowned local trajchtmoaka Abe Unger has generated a lot of excitement in southern Manitoba this week with the release of his “amazing new miracle elixir that’ll cure you of everything from gullibility to taking […]

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  • Court Rules that Mennonites Are Allowed to Keep Their Masks on in the Liquor Store
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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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