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Month: February 2020

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts

February 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Points Out Speck of Sawdust in Brother’s Eye

February 4, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mr. Hofstetter just couldn’t believe the size of the speck in Mr. Horst’s eye this week and made sure to point it out to him in the church lobby on Sunday. “Would you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meddachschlop Over 60: Five Tips for Mennonite Seniors

February 3, 2020 Andrew

As we age, many things that we took for granted as young Mennonites start to become more difficult. Plowing is hard on the back. Hitting that high note during the Vespers service becomes a challenge. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jake Dycks Fill Winkler Arena for Annual Jake Dyck Festival

February 2, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Winkler Arena was filled to the brim with Jake Dycks this weekend for the twenty-fifth annual Jake Dyck Festival. “There are Jake Dycks around the world from La Crete and Filadelfia to […]

Unger Games

United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 1, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI GARDENS, FL Attendees at Super Bowl LIV on Sunday are in for a real treat as the entire US Senate will be performing at what is being hyped as the greatest halftime show ever. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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