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Month: October 2019

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Cancel Out Each Other’s Vote

October 21, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The Hieberts stopped by at the polls during their lunch break today intent on doubling the power of their votes by casting their ballots for the same candidate. “Normally we discuss this ahead […]

Unger Suspicion

A Canadian Election Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone

October 20, 2019 Andrew

So, you’re having trouble figuring out who to vote for, eh? Well, here at the Daily Bonnet we’ve created this helpful tool to get things sorted out for you. If you click on the party […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Paper Candidate Asking for Your Vote on Monday

October 20, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENBERG, SK After a vigorous campaign that involved getting a name on a ballot and laying about on a desk for the next six weeks, the local Paper candidate is hoping for your vote on […]

Unger Suspicion

Kevin Costner to Star in Epic $300 Million Film About Mennonites

October 19, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA In an effort to revive his stalling career, 90s Hollywood icon Kevin Costner has invested more than $300 million of his own money in a “totally epic” film about the Mennonites entitled Field of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Agrees to Annual Meddachschlop for Her Henry’s Birthday

October 18, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Funk, 61, had nearly forgotten about her promise for their annual meddachschlop this afternoon, until her Henry reminded her it was his birthday. “Ah, okay, yes, Henry, is it that time of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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