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Month: July 2019

Unger Games

Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld

July 16, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After losing player after player to free agency this summer, the Winnipeg Jets have had to get a little creative to fill their roster for next season. “We’re basically going out into the […]

Unger Suspicion

7 Signs Your Co-Worker was at Folk Fest this Weekend

July 15, 2019 Andrew

Oba, nay! So some of the Englishers yet have been going to the Bard’s Hell Park over there for the Vanapag Folks Festival. I know that no good Mannanites were there, especially since they need […]

Unger Games

Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title

July 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Popular local children’s entertainers Fred Penner and Al Simmons will square off this fall to determine the World Heavyweight Champion. “I’ve got a lot of beefing up to do before then,” said Juno […]

Unger Conviction

Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need

July 13, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A local couple, the Penners, has filed a complaint against Pastor Dan for not visiting them as much as Mrs. Wiebe who’s been stricken with a terminal illness and Mr. Plett who’s been […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Replaces All Winnipeg Emergency Rooms With This One Bungalow in Transcona

July 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The provincial government recently announced an exciting new plan to shut down all Winnipeg emergency rooms and move them to this old “fixer-upper” they found in Transcona. “Let me tell you, this bungalow […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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