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Month: March 2019

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Translates Low German Joke for Englishers, No One Laughs

March 26, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB An audience of Englishers from the city was left completely baffled by the Plautdietsch jokes at a local soup and pie fundraiser this past week. Even when translated, the jokes just didn’t seem […]

The Daily Bonnet

Oma Wiebe Really Excited About Altona’s New Pot Shop

March 24, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Word about Altona’s new pot shop made waves throughout the community this week. Especially excited about the news was local gardener Mrs. Wiebe who had become increasingly dissatisfied with the local pot selection. […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB At faspa this week, James Dueck, 37, of Winkler scrambled out of the church gymnasium just as soon as he’d wolfed down his cheese curds and dills. The reason? He was sick and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The Grim Reaper, aka Death, appeared to Mr. Snyder in Waterloo this weekend intent on taking him with him. Mr. Snyder, however, knowing that Death had a competitive streak, challenged him to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attempts to Outdo Florida Man

March 22, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Distraught at all the publicity this ‘Florida Man’ has been getting as of late, Colin Wiens, 22, of Goessel, Kansas decided he was going to get his name on the front page of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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