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Month: June 2018

The Daily Bonnet

7 Things Mennonites Are Allowed to Waste Money On

June 30, 2018 Andrew

When it comes to spending, Mennonites are a frugal bunch. Despite the fact many Mennonites have done well for themselves economically, they’re not the type to flaunt their wealth. You won’t see a Mennonite driving […]

Unger Suspicion

School’s Out! Back-to-School Shopping Begins!

June 30, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just seconds after Calgary students were released for summer vacation, advertisers began pestering their parents to begin their back-to-school shopping. “Pencils, binders, backpacks, and all the latest fashions. We’ve got it all,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Country Singer Successfully Fakes Southern Accent for Over a Decade

June 29, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB Country music superstar Belinda Ray Wheeler, stage name of Taber woman Amanda Peters, has been drawing huge crowds at barn dances and small town fairs for over a decade with her own unique […]

Unger Conviction

Military Called In to Prevent Mennonite Woman from Getting Behind the Pulpit

June 28, 2018 Andrew

ASHLAND, PA The National Guard were rushed into a small Pennsylvania church this past Sunday after a Mennonite woman attempted to get behind the pulpit and elucidate the audience on the Book of 2 Peter. […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Better Secular Alternatives to Wholesome Christian Rock Bands

June 27, 2018 Andrew

Growing up as a Mennonite kid, and one who attended a private Christian school in the 1990s, I’ve had more than my fair share of inferior Christian rock thrust upon me against my will. Back […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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