The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Month: January 2017

The Daily Bonnet

Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

January 9, 2017 Andrew

STE. ANNE, MB Area man Jeremy Thiessen used the equity on his chicken farm to buy over a million dollars of fuel at the local Co-op this past year, hoping for a really awesome dividend cheque in spring. […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Mennonite Profanity

January 8, 2017 Andrew

Perhaps the most useful words and phrases to know in any language are those that express anger, excitement, or grief. For your convenience, here is a helpful list of Plautdietsch curse words and insults, along […]

Unger Suspicion

Inspired by Ukrainians, Mennonites Demand Their Own Christmas

January 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB People of the Orthodox faith celebrate Christmas thirteen days after other Christians. After pilfering their vareniki recipe during a century of habitation in southern Ukraine, Canadian Mennonites are now demanding that they get their own Christmas […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Three King’s Day’ Cripples Winkler Economy

January 7, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local economist Peter Froese estimates that more than $40 million was drained from the Winkler economy yesterday due to the annual Three King’s Day shut-down. “No one knows what the heck this holiday is even […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Caught Turning Around Risqué Magazine Covers

January 6, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Local woman Annie Loewen, 73, was arrested yesterday at the local Shopper’s Drug Mart after turning over a particularly provocative cover of Vogue magazine that she found offensive. “We’ve had this problem ever […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 5 6 7 8 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • 2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart
    December 10, 2016
  • 10 Items You Should Not Donate to the Abbotsford Thrift Store
    February 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Funeral to be Followed by ‘Girl Dinner’ in Church Gymnasium
    December 2, 2024
  • Englisher So Hairy He’s Mistaken for a Mennonite
    April 17, 2020
  • Innocent Civilian Super Grateful to Have House Bombed in Name of Freedom
    June 23, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved