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Month: July 2016

The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

The Daily Bonnet

All the Jokes in Plautdietsch Bible are Lost in Translation

July 17, 2016 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO With the complete Old and New Testament now successfully translated into the Plautdietsch language, outsiders are having difficulty catching all the jokes. “My oma and opa will read something from the Book of […]

Unger Suspicion

Chinese Government Calls for Strict 12-Child Policy on Mennonites

July 16, 2016 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA Delegates from People’s Republic of China spoke before the United Nations this week asking the global community to agree to a strict cap on Mennonite families of 12 children each. “Everyone needs to do their […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Baptized a Third Time Just to Make Sure

July 15, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The term anabaptist, literally meaning “rebaptizer” is generally regarded as a misnomer in the 21st century since most members of the group are only ever baptized once as adults. However, a particularly pious […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Seinfeld’ Re-runs Totally Confuse Local Mennonite Man

July 14, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Neophyte television-watcher Abe R. Dyck of Kleefeld became completely disoriented this past week while binge-watching episodes of hit 90’s TV show ‘Seinfeld’ at his nephew’s home. “He’d never heard of the show before,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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