NORTH KILDONAN, MB Canadian donut giant Tim Hortons held a press conference on Henderson Highway this afternoon to announce a new item on the menu – Mennonite zwieback – well, just the tops anyway. “For […]
SOMEWHERE IN NORTHERN ONTARIO, ON In what has been described as the most nefarious plot in Mennonite history, two complete strangers on the Russlaender 100th Anniversary train trip across Canada have agreed to swap zwieback […]
OSTERWICK, MB Residents of Osterwick were in shock this afternoon after a fresh and delectable zwieback baked by Mrs. Loewen was left out on the table in the church basement all afternoon. “It’s simply not […]
ZURICH, SWITZERLAND The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry has decided they’ve given up on mercury and decided to replace element 80 with the dry Mennonite bread known has zwieback. “It’s one of the […]
HAIFA, ISRAEL Scientists at Haifa University were shocked to discover a recipe for the dry Mennonite bread known as “zwieback” in the Dead Sea Scrolls. The fragment was the last to be translated and the […]
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