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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

November 25, 2024 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass […]

Unger Suspicion

‘X’ Rebranded as ‘PG-13’ for Sensitive Mennonites

July 30, 2023 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Realizing he had unintentionally alienated a sizeable chunk of potential users, X CEO Elon Musk has launched a new PG-13 App especially for Mennonites. “Rest assured, there’s not a single exposed ankle or […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Unveils New Logo

July 24, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA There have been a lot changes over at Twitter since Elon Musk took over including, but not limited to, a brand new logo that looks eerily familiar to neighbouring Mennonites over in […]

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More from the unger review

  • ‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway
    October 19, 2018
  • Mennonites Release New Version of American National Anthem, ‘The Flower-Spangled Bonnet’
    July 4, 2018
  • Blessed are the Peacemakers
    November 11, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • National Hotel Chain to Replace Gideon Bibles With ‘The God Delusion’
    February 18, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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