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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2020 Andrew

WICHITA, KS A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Co-Workers Caught Having Meddachschlop in the Photocopy Room

June 10, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The rumours about that Thiessen boy and that Klassen girl were confirmed to be true this week after Mrs. Wiebe unlocked the photocopy room and found the two of them having a nice […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes

May 29, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man Timothy Toews, 36, decided he’d try to earn himself a few minutes of meddachschlop this week and hand-wash a beer glass he’d used earlier in the afternoon. When his wife Amanda got home, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Working from Home Completely Naked the Entire Time

March 19, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Graphic designer Mr. Plett, 58, of Leamington has decided that so long as this coronavirus thing is keeping him at home he might as well not bother to put any clothes on. “I’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba to Call in Sick Tomorrow

November 24, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Blue Bombers ended a 29 year drought and won the 2019 Grey Cup on Sunday, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba plans to show up to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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