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work ethic

Unger Conviction

The Seven Deadly Sins (for Mennonites)

October 11, 2017 Andrew

While many are familiar with the Catholic church’s list of seven deadly sins (sloth, gluttony, and so on), fewer people are aware of the Mennonite church’s list of sins. The list was compiled by Menno […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Long List of Chores Still Not Done

May 22, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK At the end of the day on Monday, local family man Menno Peters, 47, was still nowhere near to being finished the long list of chores given to him by his wife Anne […]

Unger Suspicion

Kevin O’Leary Encourages Mennonites to ‘Work Harder, Make More Money, Be More Industrious’

November 12, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Businessman and television personality Kevin O’Leary has taken time out of his busy schedule of helping young entrepreneurs make a “shit ton of moolah” to give some advice to Mennonites across the country. “It’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Works His Usual 18 Hours on Labour Day

September 5, 2016 Andrew

YARROW, BC Exhibiting the most extreme manifestation of the “Protestant work ethic,” local butcher Helmut Siemens of Yarrow spent every waking moment making farmer sausage this Labour Day. “I don’t take a day off unless it’s the […]

Unger Suspicion

Hardworking Family of Russian Mennonites Offers to Replace UK in the European Union

June 23, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Today is a historic day as British voters will decide whether or not the United Kingdom will remain part of the European Union. Polls suggest the vote will be tight and, in the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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