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winnipeg

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning

May 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]

Unger Suspicion

World’s Largest Snake Den Discovered in Manitoba Legislature

May 8, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba Conservation officers were called to the Legislative Buildings in Winnipeg this week after a den of more than 10,000 garter snakes were discovered to have taken over the entire upper floor. The […]

Unger Suspicion

Nation Shocked as Canadian NHL Team Wins Playoff Series Without Rioting

April 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tens of thousands of fans lined the streets of downtown Winnipeg on Friday night to celebrate the Jets first round playoff victory over the Minnesota Wild. Jets fans bucked decades of Canadian hockey […]

Unger Suspicion

Rare Patch of Smooth Road Discovered in Winnipeg

March 28, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Thiessen of North Kildonan was utterly shocked to discover a short patch of completely smooth road in Winnipeg during a visit to the Linden Woods neighbourhood this weekend. “What the hell is […]

Unger Suspicion

Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan

March 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeggers have spoken. By a wide margin, locals voted to replace ‘One Great City’ and ‘The Heart of the Continent’ with ‘Ugh….Winnipeg sucks’ as the new city slogan. “Time and again, what we […]

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