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Unger & Thirst

Bean Salad Big Hit at Church Potluck

December 18, 2024 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Of all the options available at the East Chilliwack MB Christmas potluck this past weekend, the most popular, by far, was a salad consisting of black beans and edamame made by Ms. Erin […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby

October 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby. “Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always […]

Unger & Thirst

New Reports Claims Children Just Faking It, Most Absolutely Love Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts

June 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new Health Canada study shows that kids have been fooling us the entire time. According to research, Canadian children report broccoli, brussels sprouts, and green peppers among their absolute favourite foods. “It […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Vegans Make Exception for Farmer Sausage

October 16, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Pembina Vegan and Vegetarian Appreciation Society met last week and, after a heated discussion, voted overwhelmingly to allow for the consumption of one meat product and one meat product alone: farmer sausage. […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”

June 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB An undercover stakeout of the Plett’s garden last night had led the arrest of Mrs. Dueck, 61, caught red-handed stealing all the ingredients necessary to make a delicious somma borscht. “Oba, why’d she […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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