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The Daily Bonnet

Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’

January 15, 2019 Andrew

PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO After nearly two-thirds of the Winkler population vacated their homes and showed up on a charter flight to Puerto Vallerta this past week, the mayor of the Mexican resort town has decided […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Strip Searched at Airport; Security Shocked at What they Found!

July 10, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC Mr. Klassen of Yarrow, BC was selected for random screening at the Vancouver Airport this past week. Mr. Klassen had been heading to visit frintschoft in Kansas, when he was pulled aside for […]

Unger & Thirst

Visitor to Winkler Gets Severe Case of Mennozuma’s Revenge

July 8, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Failing to heed the warnings not to drink the water, Mr. Peters of Steinbach was left with a severe case of what he described as “stomach problems” after a recent visit to Winkler. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Checks His Privilege Only to Have It Lost By American Airlines

May 20, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA After attending a public lecture on intersectionality and white privilege at Eastern Mennonite University this past week, local man Peter Schrock decided to put what he learned in action and check his privilege […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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