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Unger Games

Mennonite Olympic Dominance, as Explained By Dr. Freud

August 19, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL The success of Mennonite athletes at this year’s Olympic games has come as a surprise to some, but according to Dr. Heinrich Freud, great-grandson of the founder of psychoanalysis, this Mennonite dominance […]

Unger Games

Alex Rodriguez To Bring Disgrace to Baseball One Last Time Today

August 12, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After a long storied career as baseball’s most notable scumbag, convicted cheater Alex Rodriguez will hang up his cleats on Friday, as fans gather at Yankee Stadium to say “good riddance” to professional […]

The Daily Bonnet

World Anabaptist Olympics Begin Today

August 5, 2016 Andrew

CURITIBA, BRAZIL More than three thousand Amish, Hutterite, and Mennonite athletes from around the world are descending on Curitiba, Brazil this week for the opening of the World Anabaptist Games. “We’re very excited that our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

Unger Games

Hospital Entrance to be Converted into Skate Park

June 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As part of a long-term plan to make Steinbach more skateboard-friendly, the local hospital ramp is currently undergoing construction to be converted into a massive skate park. “Increased hospital access for skateboarders is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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