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sports

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith

April 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith. “I’m not sure how […]

Unger Games

Angry Canadian Trucker Mistaken for Soccer Fan

March 30, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON An angry Canadian trucker who had just returned home to southern Manitoba after attending the rally in Ottawa, was mistaken for a diehard soccer fan this week. “Go Canada Go!” shouted local soccer […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

March 27, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 36 years, thus ballooning the number of […]

Unger Games

National League Adopts ‘Designated Menno’ Rule

March 16, 2022 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Decades after its junior curcuit counterpart made the change, the National League has finally agreed to adopt the Designated Menno rule. “It’s about damn time,” said diehard Phillies fan Mary Denlinger. “I know […]

Unger Games

Winter Olympics Come and Go Without a Single Person Noticing

February 27, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA According to sources there was a winter Olympics earlier this month, but not a single person on the face of the planet was aware of it. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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