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The Daily Bonnet

Dishes are Miraculously Washed as Mennonite Man Naps on Sunday Afternoon

February 18, 2018 Andrew

SCHANZENBURG, SK After devouring a delicious meal of schinke fleish and fried potatoes, local man Henry Wiebe, 47, decided to unbutton his pants, kick up his feet, and lie down in the living room while […]

Unger Conviction

Thousands of Mennonites Miss Church Due to Time Change

March 12, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mennonite churches across North America were half full this morning as thousands of church-goers slept in due to the time change. “My first thought, as it always is whenever attendance is low was, ‘oh, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Co-sleeps With All 15 Children

March 8, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Long before it became a trend with young 21st century bohemian mothers, Mennonites have practiced the art of co-sleeping with their children. Maggie Martens of La Crete, Alberta, for example, co-sleeps with […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Law Mandates 6:30 Bedtime for Mennonites

January 16, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After a string of incidents involving Mennonites who stayed up to the unseemly hour of seven or eight, a new Steinbach bylaw requires that all Mennonites be in bed with the lights out […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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