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sexism

Unger Suspicion

Jordan Peterson Releases New ’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’

May 19, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Tired of the “woke” swimsuit editions coming from the mainstream media, anti-PC crusader Jordan Peterson is set to release ’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’ specifically for an audience that “appreciates good old-fashioned […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Claims to be Man to Get Cheaper Haircut

December 5, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Taunte Lina waltzed into her local Snips ‘n Go salon this past Tuesday for her weekly haircut, only this time things were a little different when she went to the till to pay. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Insists Server Who is Just Doing Her Job is Flirting With Him

October 18, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Billy Doerksen, a 52-year-old farmer and frequent customer at BJ’s Kafe in Leamington, mistook a friendly smile and warm welcome for flirtation this past Wednesday. “It was pretty damn awkward,” said 27-year-old server […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Mansplains for 40 Minutes this Morning

July 16, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After a delightful special number from the Janz sisters, Pastor Greg took the podium this morning and mansplained his way through the entire fifth chapter of Ephesians. “Turn in your Bibles to the Book […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Regulations Force Female Crokinole Players to Wear Short Skirts

May 4, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON In an effort to draw viewers away from tennis, the International Crokinole Federation (ICF) has recently announced that it will now be requiring all ladies knipsbrat players to wear skirts “above the knee.” “If professional […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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