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seniors

Unger Conviction

Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church

July 3, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local bachelor Timothy Wiebe, 23, of Altona is sticking to his guns and showing up to church every Sunday hoping and praying that a young woman his age will miraculously appear. Wiebe has […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

Unger & Thirst

Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People

March 25, 2018 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB 6-year-old Anna Berg of South Blumenort has become the region’s latest millionaire after selling a record number of chocolate-covered almonds to area seniors. While Mennonites have the reputation for being rather frugal, […]

Unger & Thirst

Wild Night Ensues After Mennonite Woman Spikes Schoofly Pie

March 23, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mrs. Miller’s rum-soaked schoofly pie was a big hit at the church coffee and dessert event this past Sunday, as Mennonite seniors went back for seconds, thirds, and, in some cases, even fourths. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Seniors Hospitalized After Visit From Penner Children

December 4, 2017 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Almost forty elderly Mennonites were taken to Warman Regional Hospital this weekend after a recent visit to the Old Folks Home by the youngest members of the Penner family, none of whom had […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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