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science

Unger Suspicion

Richard Dawkins Comes Forward at Tent Revival Meeting

June 25, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Renowned atheist and best-selling author Richard Dawkins, who was in town yesterday to attend the wedding of a distant cousin, was seen entering a local big tent revival meeting, undoubtedly lured in by […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sells Tomato Juice Miracle Cure

June 16, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB They’re calling him ‘Tomato Juice Penner’ and people are coming from miles around to purchase his ‘miraculous’ tomato juice elixir. “Step right up, folks. Step right up. Have I got the stuff for […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Vaxxer to Marry Flat-Earther

May 7, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK When committed anti-vaxxer Bertha Epp met flat-earther Harry Froese on an online message board last fall, it only took Bertha two hours of chatting to know Harry was the man for her. “We both […]

Unger Suspicion

NASA Confirms the Existence of Mennonites on Other Planets

November 24, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference earlier this morning, NASA scientists have answered a question that has plagued Anabaptists since the early days of the Reformation: “Are there Mennonites on other planets?” The answer, it […]

Unger Suspicion

DNA Testing Reveals Theologian Greg Boyd to be ‘90% Mennonite’

October 26, 2016 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MN After sending away for one of those DNA home testing kits, Greg Boyd, renowned author and pastor of Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul, discovered he was almost entirely Mennonite. The new improved […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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