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Unger Conviction

Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024

June 19, 2023 Andrew

AUGUSTA, GA After their recent annual meeting in which they expelled a couple churches for petty reasons, the Southern Baptist Convention is well on its way to being more dysfunctional than the Mennonites by early […]

Unger Conviction

Southern Baptists Expel Rick Warren for Floral-Patterned Shirt and Lack of Necktie

June 18, 2023 Andrew

LAKE FOREST, CA The Southern Baptist Convention voted overwhelmingly this week to expel Rick Warren from the denomination due to his liberal position regarding appropriate pastoral attire. “I’ve never seen that man with a necktie,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

Unger Conviction

It’s Official: Steinbach Now Has More Churches than People

September 24, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB While population figures have shown considerable growth in Steinbach over the past 5 years, locals were relieved to know that the city still has the highest church to people ratio in the country. […]

Unger Conviction

Revolutionary New Mennonite Church Adds an Extra Two Ounces to Baptismal Water

July 9, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new Mennonite church — in reality a breakaway from the old one — plans to revolutionize the way Mennonites do baptism by pouring an extra two ounces of water during the baptism. “Our […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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