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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Dime Bags of White Sugar

December 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona’s most notorious sugar dealer, 83-year-old Edith Braun, has been caught dealing “dime bags” of white sugar in the hallways of Southview Manor. “The street price of white sugar has soared this holiday […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto

August 3, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of Swifties across Canada have been answered this week after Taylor Swift announced a 6-date cross-country tour of the Rogers Centre in Toronto. “We’re sending our tunes all across the nation, […]

Unger & Thirst

Canada-Wide Rogers Golden Syrup Outage Stretches on for Hours

April 19, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mennonites across the country were without Rogers Golden Syrup for more than five hours on Monday. “It’s a good thing it’s not a weekend when demand for Rogers Golden Syrup peaks,” said Doris […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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