The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

pumpkin

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Consumes One Last Watermelon Before Switching to Pumpkin for the Next 8 Months

September 28, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Brandts of Winkler gathered at the Bethel Heritage Park this weekend to share the very last watermelon and Papsi of the season before they consume nothing but pumpkins for the next eight […]

Unger & Thirst

Coming this October to a Mennonite Church Near You: Pumpkin Spice Baptisms!

October 4, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Desperate to capture the lucrative 25-40 market, the First Mennonite Brethren Church of Fresno has decided that all baptisms during the month of October will be conducted with Mrs. Jansen’s famous pumpkin spice […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • We Have Now Officially Entered a Peculiar Alternate Universe Where Mel Gibson Makes Movies About Conscientious Objectors
    November 4, 2016
  • Area Person Has Opinion About Issue
    September 11, 2025
  • Medium Salsa Proves Far Too Spicy for Mennonite Man
    August 23, 2021
  • Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard
    May 28, 2018
  • Local Man Drives 20 Miles Before Realizing McDonald’s Drive-Thru Didn’t Give Him Any Ketchup
    August 20, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved