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politics

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift ‘Devastated’ After Man Far Outside Her Target Demographic Plans to Boycott Her

September 16, 2024 Andrew

WEST READING, PA A 73-year-old retired farmer named Abe Wiens is planning a one-man boycott of Taylor Swift this week after he discovered she doesn’t support his preferred political candidate. “I’m sure she’s devastated,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

MBs Rip Up Supply and Confidence Deal with GCs

September 4, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a shocking move this afternoon, Mennonite Brethren leader Jack Siemens pulled out of the agreement keeping the GCs as the most powerful Mennonite denomination in Canada. “We didn’t like how they were […]

Unger the Influence

JD Vance Has ‘Cringey’ Visit to Mennonite Roll Kuchen Shop

August 26, 2024 Andrew

REEDLEY, CA Vice Presidential hopeful JD Vance stopped by in one of Reedley, California’s famous roll kuchen shops this week to pick up an order and win over a few voters. However, things did not […]

Unger Conviction

Biden Sends Thoughts and Prayers to “Former President Ronald Reagan”

July 13, 2024 Andrew

BUTLER, PA After being informed on the situation at the rally in Pennsylvania, President Joe Biden took to the stage to express his sympathy for “former President Ronald Reagan.” “I’ve been briefed on the situation,” […]

Unger the Influence

Justin Trudeau Plans to Stick Around Long Enough to Become the Next Joe Biden

June 29, 2024 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Despite losing a safe seat in Toronto this week, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau plans to stick around for a while, just like his inspiration south of the border Joe Biden. “Look at […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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