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politics

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Suspicion

I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026 Andrew

NOT SATIRE. I searched the Epstein Files. For real. This is not satire. Please note, of course, that there are millions upon millions of files and none of the findings here suggest any wrongdoing. Here […]

Unger Suspicion

Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026 Andrew

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA The state of Minnesota, famed for its lakes, cheese-stuffed hamburgers and association with the late musician Prince, has decided to forego all that and take on the new name ‘Manitoba South.’ “People […]

Unger the Influence

Arts Center to be Renamed ‘Trump Putin Epstein Tech Bros Robert E. Lee FIFA Gulf of America Kennedy Center’

December 30, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In what critics are calling the “most tasteful renaming of a major American cultural institution in decades,” the Kennedy Center in Washington announced this week that they’d prefer it if people referred to […]

Unger the Influence

Goertzen to Spend Retirement Years Playing High Stakes Competitive Crokinole

December 10, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced this week that he will not be seeking re-election in the next provincial election. Instead, Goertzen intends to spend his retirement years singing tenor in a country […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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