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politics

Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

Unger Suspicion

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Committed libertarian Rand Martens, 31, was walking home from his Dungeons and Dragons game this week when he found himself walking smack dab in the middle of a public sidewalk. “Oh, look at […]

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger the Influence

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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