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plautdietsch

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Friesen Totally Schools Grandchildren in Plautdietsch Scrabble Match

August 20, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Grandma Friesen, 75, handily beat three young grandchildren this week in a rousing game of Plautdietsch Scrabble. The match, which lasted just thirty minutes before the youngsters quit in disgust, was the first […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Vocabulary Reduced to ‘Once’, ‘Yet’, and ‘Such’

August 5, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a time when George Baerg’s vocabulary stretched to more than thirty words and an occasional ethusiastic ‘oba!’ These days, however, Mr. Baerg, now retired and extra grumpy, has settled on ‘once’, ‘yet’, and […]

Unger & Thirst

Pepsi-Cola to Rebrand in Mennonite Country

August 1, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Due to slumping sales, Pepsi-Cola is undergoing a name and logo change in certain markets such as the Pembina Valley, Fraser Valley, Chihuahua and the Paraguayan Chaco. The cola will now officially be known […]

The Daily Bonnet

High German Mennonite Clings Desperately to False Sense of Superiority Over Low German Mennonite

June 28, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, SK Thanks to a complete accident of birth, Miss Annie B. Epp of Blumenbach was born to a High German speaking family. For some reason, Epp, a sad and delusional woman, believes that this linguistic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’

March 20, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites from across the city surrounded Winnipeg City Hall on Friday demanding that Mayor Bowman change the name of the city to Vanapag. “We’re here today to express our desire to […]

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