The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

pew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Waits All Service to Finally Hear “You May Be Seated”

February 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Driedger were on their feet exactly at 10:01 AM when the worship leader asked everyone to “stand if you are able” and turn to Hymn 603 in their Voices Together […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Sits at End of Pew, Absolutely Refuses to Scooch Over

November 30, 2018 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mr. Ralph Ens of North Kildonan sat himself down at the end of the pew this past Sunday and was perfectly content to have each and every person climb over him to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Deacon Arrested for Manspreading Across Entire Church Pew

August 24, 2017 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mennonite deacon Delbert Nussbaum, 81, was taken into custody by Kidron Police this past Sunday after churchgoers complained that the elderly man had manspread across an entire pew during the morning’s service. “What […]

Unger Conviction

Fists Fly After Loewen Family Sits in Penner Family Pew

February 21, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Fifteen members of the Loewen family and twenty-three Penners were hospitalized this past week after a brawl broke out at the local Mennonite church. The brawl seems to have been initiated after four […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Visitor to Mennonite Church Blinded By All the Blond Hair
    November 3, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Finally Upgrades His Massey Harris
    July 4, 2025
  • Erotic Schekjbenjel Novel Tops NY Times Bestseller List
    July 5, 2017
  • Renowned Mennonite Scholar Unable To Locate Car In Parking Lot
    October 21, 2016
  • Impossible to Tell if Bearded Friend is Mennonite or Just Really Into Craft Beer
    October 18, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved