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pepsi

The Daily Bonnet

Bottomless Pepsi Promotion Bankrupts Local Restaurant

May 1, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB One of Steinbach’s great and storied restaurants Joe’s Diner was once an instituton on Main Street, serving three generations of customers with its signature hamburgers and soda pop. It was always believed that […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Breaks His Vow of Pacifism to Defend the Last Can of Pepsi

October 16, 2016 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Centuries of non-violent Anabaptist teaching were tossed under the proverbial bus today as Mr. Thomas W. Koop of Hillsboro, Kansas assaulted fifteen innocent people in order to defend his right to the last […]

Unger & Thirst

Conservative Mennonite Sect Bans ‘Papsi’ and ‘Ravel’ Bars

June 10, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENFELD, MB The leadership of a particularly pious group of Mennonites in southern Manitoba have recently announced a complete ban on the drinking of Pepsi and consumption of chocolate Revello ice cream bars. After eliminating every […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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