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peanuts

The Daily Bonnet

Surge in Peanut Allergies Has Mennonite Church Handing Out Empty Paper Bags this Christmas

December 24, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After just way too many incidents in recent years, Central Kildonan Mennonite Fellowship has decided the only solution is to hand out empty paper bags to all the kids this Christmas. “We wanted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 9, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB A stash of secular records were discovered under Garth Wiebe’s mattress this week, after a tip by prying neighbours led to a raid of the premises by church elders. “As you know, we […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandmas Frantically Fill Paper Bags with Peanuts

December 22, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Grandmothers throughout southern Manitoba have been working in shifts at a local factory to fill tens of thousands of paper bags with peanuts in time for upcoming Christmas gatherings. The paper bags, also […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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