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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor

August 29, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Deviating from the common practice of determining all leadership positions by the drawing of straws, the folks at West Linden Mennonite have decided to pick a new head honcho using a potato sack […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Launches String of F-Bombs in Last Sermon Before Retirement

July 25, 2018 Andrew

REIMERSFELD, SK Local Mennonite pastor, Reverend Schmidt, whose recent lotto-649 win has afforded him an early retirement, unleashed a string of f-bombs in his final sermon as head of East Reimersfeld Mennonite. “He sure let […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One

April 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Fresh out of seminary, Pastor Dave was really excited about his new Associate Pastor position at East Mennonite until he discovered first hand just how frugal the church board can be. Dave was […]

Unger Conviction

Stage Fright Strikes Local Pastor Moments Before Altar Call

April 14, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Beloved local pastor Kevin Wall was nearing the end of his sermon and was about to ask the organist to play ‘Just as I Am’ when he was suddenly struck with a severe […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Accidentally Hires Seminary Graduate

February 11, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB “It seems we’ve been duped,” said Altona MEMBCM board chair John B. Friesen. “We never would have hired Pastor Jim had we known he was actually a highly-trained and educated individual.” Friesen is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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