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onions

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Picks “Gross Onions” Off Her Burger while Devouring Her “Delicious Onion Rings”

October 29, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Coleen Loewen drew quite the crowd at her local A&W this afternoon as she picked off all the onions from her burger while simultaneously devouring a bag of delicious onion rings. […]

Unger & Thirst

Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food

January 13, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Republicans are up in arms this week as the Biden administration is reportedly considering banning “gassy Mennonite food like schmaunt fat, formavorscht, and all those fried onions they like to put on the […]

Unger & Thirst

Raw Onions 30% More Effective than Castor Oil to Prevent Swearing

April 24, 2017 Andrew

TABER, AB A new study out of the University of Southern Alberta has shown that forcing rebellious Mennonites to eat large quantities of raw onions is significantly more effective at preventing swearing than making them drink castor […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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