The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

old dutch

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Consume Record Numbers of Rapple Chaps During Stanley Cup Final

June 24, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Stores across the Canadian prairies are all out of rapple chaps this evening, as Mennonites stock up for the big game. “We’ve got everything you need for a Stanley Cup party,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems

June 7, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Canadian Football League announced big changes this afternoon after an abysmal performance by Blue Bombers kicker Sergio Castillo last night that was attributed to the presence of chips in the area. “From […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Comes Home with the Wrong Old Dutch

November 17, 2022 Andrew

BOISSEVAIN, MB Dave Neufeld, 37, of Boissevain was in hot water this week after he drove all the way to Brandon this afternoon to do some grocery shopping and came home with the wrong kind […]

Unger & Thirst

“Chip Shortage” Sends Mennonites into a Panic

May 23, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a “chip shortage” sent Mennonites into a panic this week as thousands of Klassen and Duecks grabbed whatever chaps they could find on the shelves. “The La Cocina were the first […]

Unger & Thirst

Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box

May 15, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Area Mennonites are calling it a miracle after a second bag of onion and garlic “chaps” were discovered in an Old Dutch box this weekend. “All these years I never looked past that […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup
    June 24, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Accidentally Speaks Plautdietsch Outside the Barn
    June 3, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Impressed with Such Large Portions of Such Poor Quality Food
    January 3, 2025
  • Experts Warn Mennonites Against Using Homemade Eclipse Glasses
    April 7, 2024
  • Hash Brownie Recipe Discovered in Antique Mennonite Cookbook
    July 6, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved