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Unger Suspicion

Church Elders Launch Powerful ‘James Wiebe Telescope’ to Keep An Eye on Misbehaving Mennonites

July 28, 2022 Andrew

SPACE The recently launched James Wiebe Telescope has stunned the world with images of Mennonites even more remarkable than those found in the work of renowned photographer Larry Towell. “We’re finally able to see the […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards

May 23, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]

The Daily Bonnet

NASA Commemorates Historic “First Mennonite on the Moon”

November 8, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS NASA paused for moment of silence this morning in recognition of the 50 year anniversary of the historic landing of Mennonites on the moon. Mennonites made the voyage in 1969 and have been […]

Unger Suspicion

NASA Confirms the Existence of Mennonites on Other Planets

November 24, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference earlier this morning, NASA scientists have answered a question that has plagued Anabaptists since the early days of the Reformation: “Are there Mennonites on other planets?” The answer, it […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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