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music

The Daily Bonnet

Six Hospitalized After Jesus Takes the Wheel

August 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Four Yoders and two Millers were rushed to the hospital in Goshen this week after Mr. Yoder decided to relinquish his driving duties and let Jesus take over. “I was heading down the […]

Unger Suspicion

Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze

August 25, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The city of Morden, Manitoba will be honouring its most famous export, celtic music sensation Loreena McKennitt, in the best way they know how, by building a corn maze in her honour. “Basically […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Ink Morrissey to Long Term Deal

August 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After months of negotiation the Winnipeg Jets announced today that they have inked legendary British alternative rocker Morrissey to a five-year deal. “We’re really glad to have Morrissey locked up for the next […]

Unger Conviction

Conservative and Liberal Mennonite Debate Church Music

July 6, 2018 Andrew

Let’s face it. Religious and political discourse is in serious decline these days. People prefer sound bites and memes to intelligent well-argued dialogue. In an effort to elevate the conversation, the Daily Bonnet has arranged […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Release New Version of American National Anthem, ‘The Flower-Spangled Bonnet’

July 4, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In order to celebrate the 4th of July, the American Mennonite community has commissioned famed Mennonite songwriter Francis Scott Hostetler to write a new national anthem. “This is one even us Mennonites will […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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