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Unger Conviction

Military Called In to Prevent Mennonite Woman from Getting Behind the Pulpit

June 28, 2018 Andrew

ASHLAND, PA The National Guard were rushed into a small Pennsylvania church this past Sunday after a Mennonite woman attempted to get behind the pulpit and elucidate the audience on the Book of 2 Peter. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province to Enforce Demilitarized Zone Between Morden and Winkler

September 17, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB In order to ease tensions in the region, a mile-wide demilitarized zone has been established between the twin Mennonite cities of Morden and Winkler. The Pembina Valley DMZ will act as a buffer […]

Unger Games

NFL Team to Hold ‘Conscientious Objector Appreciation Day’

September 8, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA After decades of going out of their way to associate American football with the United States military, one NFL team has decided to buck that trend and honour Conscientious Objectors, including members of Mennonites, […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Sniper Sets Record for World’s Longest Deliberately-Missed Shot

June 24, 2017 Andrew

MOSUL, IRAQ A Mennonite sniper in Iraq deliberately missed his target more than two miles away, breaking the world record for the longest purposefully-missed sniper shot in military history. “I could have got him, but I just shot above […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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