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mark carney

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger the Influence

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger the Influence

Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country

January 11, 2026 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON The federal government was shocked and dismayed with the results after more than $1.2 billion were spent to buyback guns in Mennonite country, with very little success.  “After months of the Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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