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literacy

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Learns His ‘ABCs’

March 27, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Until recently local man Mr. Fehr had absolutely no use for learning the alphabet. However, the recent pandemic has forced him to learn his ABCs so he can wash his hands properly. “All […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore

September 15, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Second Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas has decided to ditch their hymnals after it was discovered that not a single person in the congregation could read sheet music anymore. “Oh, sure, Mrs. […]

Unger Games

Children Support Literacy By Reading to Hockey Players

February 16, 2018 Andrew

BRANDON, MB February is ‘I Love to Read’ month and that means children across the province will be taking time out of their busy schedules to promote literacy in the hockey playing population. One local […]

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  • Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki
    September 6, 2019
  • Why that Mennonite Boy is Not Texting You Back
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  • Long Lost Cousin Goes Up During Freiwilliges and Ruins the Whole Thing
    July 17, 2019
  • Mennonites Flock to Landfill to Get their Hands on Some Free Mattresses
    March 31, 2019
  • Mennonite Grandma Disappoints Children with Honest Birthday Cards
    February 16, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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