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The Daily Bonnet

Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant

December 2, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Peter Berg still insists after all these years that he doesn’t have a Plautdietsch accent at all. “Ats all deeze Enjelsch who have da acksant yat,” he said in perfectly fluent […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Classified as an ‘Endangered Species’ in Steinbach

November 9, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As Steinbach has grown, it has become more diverse, and some might even say, “metropolitan.” Long gone are the days when elderly Mennonite men would greet young women at the Clearspring Mall with, “Hia es […]

The Daily Bonnet

All the Jokes in Plautdietsch Bible are Lost in Translation

July 17, 2016 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO With the complete Old and New Testament now successfully translated into the Plautdietsch language, outsiders are having difficulty catching all the jokes. “My oma and opa will read something from the Book of […]

Unger & Thirst

Conservative Mennonite Sect Bans ‘Papsi’ and ‘Ravel’ Bars

June 10, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENFELD, MB The leadership of a particularly pious group of Mennonites in southern Manitoba have recently announced a complete ban on the drinking of Pepsi and consumption of chocolate Revello ice cream bars. After eliminating every […]

The Daily Bonnet

World Low German Spelling Bee Championship to Be Held in Grunthal

June 6, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Middle-schoolers from throughout the Plautdietsch-speaking world will descend on Grunthal, Manitoba this week for the World Low German Spelling Bee Championship. The annual event attracts top spellers from Canada, the United States, Mexico, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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