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kissing

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Newlyweds Look Like “They’ve Been Practicing”

August 11, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK When Maria Driedger and Peter Wall tied the knot this past Saturday, gasps went out throughout the crowd as their “first kiss” appeared to be anything but. “A dip and a swirl and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Smother Relatives with Wet Kisses at this Afternoon’s Gathering

December 26, 2019 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Mrs. Penner, 71, plans to slobber all over each and every member of the Penner family at the gathering in the basement of the MB church in Chilliwack this afternoon. “Watch out, Penners, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Cousins Were On the Kiss Cam Last Night

February 5, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Friesen cousins from Taber decided to attend a Flames game this week, but they didn’t expect to be thrust into the spotlight the way they were. “We were just sitting there enjoying […]

Unger Suspicion

Judge Sentences Katy Perry to Kiss 100 Random Mennonite Dudes

March 16, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After kissing a disinterested young man on American Idol this week, pop star Katy Perry has been sentenced to make out with 100 hairy Mennonite guys in suspenders and dirty rubber boots. “It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mistletoe Creates Awkward Moments at Mennonite Family Gathering

December 27, 2016 Andrew

REICHENBACH, MB The presence of mistletoe at the Epp family Christmas gathering this past week, caused quite the number of awkward moments for the Epp cousins. “I don’t know why Oma insists on putting mistletoe all […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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