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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Sees Surge in ‘West Reserve Alienation’ After Election Results

October 24, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Residents of the former Mennonite West Reserve (or Jantsied as it’s more commonly known) have become increasingly disenchanted with the state of politics at the present day. This feeling of alienation is so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

Unger Suspicion

Desperate to Woo Trudeau Supporters, Maxime Bernier Renames New Party ‘The Peoplekind Party of Canada’

October 11, 2019 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Eager to move up a bit in the polls, sixth-place Maxime Bernier has decided a little tweaking of his party name just might do the trick. “I can’t figure it out. For some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate

October 2, 2019 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB With the notable exception of Bloc Quebecois leader Yves-Francois Blanchet, who said he really didn’t care to get the Mennonite vote, all major party leaders were present at the Plautdietsch language debate […]

Unger Suspicion

Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche

September 20, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A shocking new video went viral this week after it appeared to show a politician not being a total douche. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Mrs. Kehler of Ottawa. “The guy […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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