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ice

Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Games

Florida Panthers Give Out Free Slurpees Made from Game-Used Ice

June 25, 2024 Andrew

MIAMI, FL In order to celebrate their first Stanley Cup victory since the team arrived in Miami, the Florida Panthers have scooped up all the ice from Game 7 and turned it into refreshing 7-11 […]

Unger & Thirst

Delicious Beet Borscht Used to Melt Ice All Over Manitoba

April 11, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB As temperatures rise and roads are looking treacherous, it appears that soup has come to the rescue, as dozens of ice cream pails of Baba’s delicious beet borscht are being ladled onto provincial […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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